The Early Ancestors' Commandments on Naming p; Coffee

The Early Ancestors’ Commandments on Naming & Confusing 1. Thou shalt name thy male children: Edward, George, James, John, Joseph, Robert, Richard, Thomas, William. Brothers and sisters shall repeat this, giving these names as first and middle for generations, if possible marrying spouses with these names. 2. Thou shalt name thy female children: Ann, Susannah, Dorothy, Elizabeth, Abigail, Mary, Martha, Sarah, Jane, Catherine. Each brother and sister shall repeat this, giving these names as first and middle for generations, if possible marrying spouses with these names. 3. Thou shalt give these children strange nicknames such as: Ned, Zodie, Bibi, Eli, Polly, Dolly, Sukey 4. Thou shalt not record the maiden names of the women who marry into thy family, nor keep records of thy female children’s marriages or offspring. 5. Those widowed shall remarry a spouse with the same first name as the deceased. 6. Thou shalt not use middle names on any legal documents or census reports, unless substituting for first names. Initials are to be used on legal documents and alternate census reports, the further to confuse. The term Senior and Junior are to be used for unrelated males with the same names residing in the same area. 7. Thou shalt learn to sign all documents illegibly so that thy surname can be spelled, or misspelled, in various ways. Flaring first letters that can be confused for others are preferred. 8. Thou shalt, after no more than 3 generations, make sure all family records are lost, misplaced, burned in a court house fire, handed to the family black sheep or buried so that no future trace of them can be found. 9. Thou shalt propagate misleading legends, rumors, & vague innuendo regarding your place origination (a) you may have come from : England, Ireland, Scotland, Wales or parts unknown. (b) you may have American Indian ancestry of (c) You may have descended from one of three brothers from three different marriages . Thou shalt choose cemetery headstones of a marble or limestone, with shallow engraving, placed in a cemetery near no living relatives with no accessible cemetery records. . Thou shalt leave no family Bible with readable records of births, marriages, or deaths. . Thou must not know where thy parents were born or they mother’s maiden name, but thou may guess. . Thou must have one member of thy generation marry a cousin with the same first name as one of thy siblings or parents. . Thou must not be home when the census taker comes so that a neighbor or four year old child is the one who answers the questions. All names must be sounded out and ages estimated, preferably by the youngest, oldest or person with poorest reading or hearing from anonymous, edited and added to by Annie Blanchard